Review: Jennifer’s Body
Okay I know, why am I reviewing a movie that came out months ago? Being a poor college student, I don’t have the luxury of having pocket money to spend on expensive movie tickets to watch movies the day of its release. Instead, I rely on Netflix, meaning I mostly watch my movies via DVD.
Now that we’ve got that covered, I’ve just recently watched Jennifer’s Body, starring Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried, and I guess I have to agree with the majority of the critics regarding the movie. Although it was written by Diablo Cody, writer of Juno, this movie lacked many essential features.
But I suppose before we get into the actual review, a brief synopsis is in order. Set in the high school of Devil’s Kettle, popular hottie Jennifer is sacrificed to the Devil by a group of Indie Band in hopes by sacrificing her, their band gets instant fame. Unfortunately, for the sacrifice to work properly, the lady must be a virgin, which Jennifer is not. So, Jennifer continues to live, sort of, but to keep her energy and hunger full, she must become a cannibal.
Jennifer’s Body has its good and its bad. There’s definitely some humor in it, which you can expect from Diablo Cody. But as a film that falls into the category of horror, I wasn’t scared at all (and believe you me, I am a wimp when it comes to any supernatural crap). The movie had some blood, I suppose, but nothing too gory. And they don’t even show Jennifer really tearing a human apart, only the silhouette of the scene. Lame.
One scene that instantly comes to mind is when Jennifer just got sacrificed and she appears in Needy’s (the best friend) kitchen.
Looking all bloodied up, she awkwardly heads to the fridge, rummages, starts eating a piece of meat, and then vomiting black liquid goo. Perhaps this was supposed to be a terrifying sight, but I couldn’t help laughing uncontrollably. Yet this might be because hottie Megan Fox was growling at Seyfried and savagely eating a drumstick instead of keeping her picture-perfect pose. Gotta give props to her for doing something so … grotesque.
Storyline-wise, things seemed to jump ahead too fast, but all the same, it seems like nothing major really happened. Jennifer only killed three boys, and over a fair amount of time. It wasn’t as if she went on a rampage and ate half the school, so she wasn’t really threatening. And once she told Needy about her secret, there wasn’t really any conflict, except that Needy needed to kill Jennifer.
This movie is not to be taken seriously. It definitely has its flaws, but if you’re a Megan Fox fan, then you’ll enjoy it. And if you’re not big on horror movies, then watch this.
Oh, and anyone else disappointed by the big fight between Jennifer and Needy?
Unexpected Errors
I think anyone who has ever used a computer has experienced the unexpected errors that causes a program to crash and shut down. There’s two types of programs in this world: one where no “Save” is needed, and one where it is. Although having a no-save-needed program crash is annoying, it isn’t that big of a deal.
However, when a program of the latter circumstances do crash, it touches a nerve, whether you’re typing something in Microsoft Word or drawing something in Photoshop.
What brought me to write this post is that reason exactly. I was just starting to work on my masterpiece creation on Photoshop, sketching out the floor plan for my art piece, when suddenly two minutes into it, the program crashed. Aggravated, I proceeded to open Photoshop once more. I redid my sketch, only to have the program crash once again five minutes later.
I didn’t think to save my piece because 1.) I was still in the preliminary stages and saving seemed unnecessary, 2.) I’ve only opened Photoshop for a few minutes. Plus, Photoshop is usually a steady program that rarely crashes.
I’m lucky that my work was only in the early stages! Remember that one episode of Boy Meets World where Cory’s mom was working on the computer, and as soon as she yelled out “I’m alllmoossttt done!”, the power went out because the mailbox that Shawn blew up included their electricity bill, and she pretty much lost all the work she’s done? Oh, the woe!
One of the perks of WordPress and emails is that they save the drafts every couple of minutes or so, so if your browser crashes or something, all is not lost. After all, nothing can be duplicated exactly like the original… Unless, of course, you copy and paste.
When all else fails, boobs.
To your left are web advertisements. Look at them. What’s the first thing you saw?
What these two companies, IMVU and Evony, are doing in order to market their product is definitely brilliant, but not unheard of. Sex sells, and they’re doing all they can to sell.
The two ads are for games. IMVU is a 3D virtual chat world where you can create an avatar, dress him/her up in provocative outfits, and chat with other people.
In a sense, the ads for IMVU is relevant, seeing that many people who join virtual chats are drawn by the graphics. And since we all know that behind the computer is a jobless, overweight, and hairy thirty-five year old man who still lives in his mom’s basement, the graphics for IMVU is meant to give every avatar the perfected look.
Evony, however, is similar to ‘Civilization’ where you overlook and control a village. This is nowhere near the same type of game as IMVU.
Evony’s ads then becomes very misleading. I’m sure most of their ad clicks are due to people who thinks they’ll be seeing some X-Rated action, only to be disappointed.
One can only question the success of Evony then, because if their game is top-rated, they wouldn’t need to go through such measures to lure people onto their site.
But boobage definitely seems to be working for them seeing as their ads are everywhere!
The tiking and the Toking
If you listen to the radio, you’ve probably heard the song ‘Tik Tok’ by Ke$ha, even if you were unaware of the title of the song or the upcoming artist.
How would you know? If the female singer’s voice annoys you as she sings/talks, if the female singer’s singing seems ordinary, if the singer isn’t even singing, then you know the song I’m talking about.
It seems that Ke$ha (and anyone else annoyed by the dollar sign in her name?) has been trying to make it in the music industry for a while now, and finally got her breakthrough during the early parts of 2009, according to Wikipedia (yeah I know I should try to find more reliable sources but seeing as I don’t care much for this ‘artist’, Wiki is better than nothing). Her debut song, Tik Tok, has been numero uno on iTunes for weeks now, and is definitely getting playtime on the radio.
What irks me about her after listening to her debut single is that she seems talentless. Her voice is whiny, which anyone who can speak can do, and when she sings, there’s nothing oh-so-spectacular about it. There are tons of talented musicians and singers that deserve that record label instead of her, and yet here she is. Why?!
Okay, perhaps it’s because she has the physical appearance that will make money for the record label. But then, as I start browsing the web for a picture of her that is appealing, all I could find were images similar to this:
Oh yeah, she’s definitely a hottie. Not. Perhaps that’s why in all her photos, half her face is covered behind hair and glitter.
Then, there’s this sense that she’s already famous before she has even debuted her album. Money signs replacing the “S” in her name? Glitter? Can she express her reasons for being in the music industry any further?
If anyone would care to explain the appeal of this Kesha who has a money sign in her name, if not for the looks or the talent, I’m all ears.
Beauty Trends that has GOT TO GO
Long Nails: No, I’m not talking about nails that have grown a few millimeters. I’m talking about nails that have grown inches to the point where they are literally claws. I absolutely do not understand how anyone can find this attractive. For one, the nails start to curl inward, which just looks awkward. Then, because of the length of the nails, isn’t it hard to do things productively? What happens if you try to type? I bet it takes them ages to type a sentence out, since they’re more than likely pressing two keys at a time. Word of advice, ladies (and.. perhaps lads?), cutting back wouldn’t hurt.
Penciled Eyebrows: I’ve known a few girls in my lifetime who would shave off their beautiful eyebrows only to replace them with thin pencil-marked ‘eyebrows’. This just baffles me. Is it because shaving them off and drawing them in takes less work? Is it because the person finds their eyebrows horrific and knows not what to do in order to fix them? However, if their goal to become more attractive in the eyes of others, how does having penciled eyebrows work in their favor? I for one frown upon them and encourage you shavers to find another means in getting nice eyebrows.
Being Overly Tan: For some odd reason, even when being overly tan to the point of being orange is ridiculed by the majority of society, people still do it. They go to in tanning beds and, instead of just giving themselves a little bit of color, they go full out and turn themselves orange. Attractive much? No. Dangerous much? Yes. Superficial much? Definitely. Anytime I see someone who has that artificial shade of skin color, I immediately think of someone who thinks of nothing more than being part of the “In” crowd. Someone I want to hang out with? Of course not.
Avatar Movie
Now I know this is a blog about all things that is wrong in the world, but I’ve decided to add a For the Win! section, just to add some happiness to this site.
And for the first entry in that category is the new Avatar movie that was released last Friday. I have not been following this movie religiously like certain folks, I only watched the trailer since my friend wanted to watch it. Because of this, my expectations weren’t very high.
Turns out, I loved it.
The overall storyline is basic and have been seen in numerous other movies. However, the graphics were unbelievably realistic, the amount of detail that is put into the movement of the Na’vi’s is really strong, the emotions depicted are real, etc. For a basic storyline, they captured the essence of the movie greatly.
The movie is also in 3D, and what’s nice is that Avatar doesn’t do the in-your-face 3D action that most movies do. It’s subtle, and mostly used just to add more depth to the movie visually.
It’s almost a three-hour movie, but nothing seemed to drag.
What’s your thoughts? Have you seen it? Want to see it? Hate it or love it?
Twilight Themed Covers
Oh, woe is me! How is this possible!?! How can publishing houses sell classic book titles such as “Pride and Prejudice”, “Romeo and Juliet”, and “Wuthering Heights” in a Twilight themed book cover?! That is just preposterous!!
These books are the books that started it all, and by having the covers of these stories to be related to Twilight just insults the greatness of them. It’s as if they’re comparing Twilight’s Edward Cullen to Mr. Darcy! Plus, these books came first, and therefore they should have the honor of being sold with its original book covers. What’s more is that these covers aren’t even related to the books themselves! What does flowers have to do with Pride and Prejudice?
Ugh, looking at the covers make me sick. People who actually buy these versions instead of the ones with a more appropriate covers make sick. Yes, Twilight needs to die.
What do you think? Am I overreacting? Do you not care, as long as it gets people reading?
Rihanna’s GQ Cover
The cover of GQ’s January 2010 issue has been revealed, showing Rihanna quite exposed. Unlike most females that appear on the cover of this magazine, she is completely topless. The other pictures in the photoshoot are also quite exposing, which makes sense since the magazine is targeted towards the male population.
However, wasn’t it just mere weeks ago that she spoke on 20/20 and other interviews, mentioning how young girls see her as a role model and therefore her actions have an impact on them? Would these set of photos not count towards being an action that could set the wrong message for young females? I suppose these photos are harmless for the most part, but to have the cover photo being the chosen one, where wandering eyes nearby magazine stands can see it fully, is where I have the most problem with.
As if the cover wasn’t bad enough, the article seems to mention a lot about Chris Brown and how she has moved on from the incident. Is anyone else besides me tired of hearing about this issue? Don’t get me wrong, I sympathize what she had to go through, and Brown deserves the consequences. But we’ve heard her countless interviews, we’ve heard Chris Brown discuss it on Larry King, etc., etc. We know the story, so please stop repeating yourself!
You’re Late!
Other People On Lateness
Yesterday, I was set to meet a friend of mine to watch a movie. Unfortunately as a person without a car, I was dependent on her to pick me up. We set a time, but I knew she was going to be late as usual, so I gave her another half an hour. One and half hour later, she finally showed up.
I hate when people aren’t on time. Fifteen minutes is okay, but when it hits half an hour, pick up your phone and inform the other person you will be late! That’s what phones are meant for, to communicate. SO DO IT! I had to get ready an hour and a half earlier than I should have, and I could have gotten a lot of stuff done during that time instead of waiting for her come.
What was her answer for my annoyance? “It’s America. People expect you to be late. If you’re on time, then you’re weird” or something along those lines.
Your thoughts on others being late: Love it or Hate it?
Michael Jackson – Post Mortem
The Love For Michael Jackson
First off, please understand I have nothing against Michael Jackson as a person.
What I am annoyed at is the abundant amount of attention being given to him after his death. People are grieving left and right, giving support to the family, and buying his merchandise like crazy. But where were they when he was alive? Where was the support from the media and the fans when he needed it the most, as he went through ridicule for child molestation and for his many plastic surgery?
It seems superficial what is happening right now.
Your thoughts: Agree or Disagree?
